Remember being a teenager and hanging out in the park on Friday nights with a bottle of 20:20 in hand and a ten pack of Lucky Strikes. What you still do? Ok, us too. Which just goes to show teenage boozing was as much part of the scene when we were kiddywinks as it ever is now. Though Jaqui Smith begs to differ.
Shocked by recent reports which suggest 'the majority of teenagers' have at some time 'enjoyed a drink' Jaqs has had it, claiming it's high time the accursed disease was stamped out in our young once and for all. (Meaning they can grow up into responsible citizens who rarely indulge in a tipple just like you and us). Cancel the park for Friday then.
At the moment she's not incensed enough to outlaw 24 hour drinking (that might cost too much money). Instead the drinking promotions that keep most skint students in alcohol - (50p for 17 triple vodkas etc) are up for the chop, in what Jacqui describes as 'irresponsible promotion'. Oh and meat wagons will be fuller than ever with drunk teenage ruffians, as laws are relaxed to make it easier for young binge drinkers to be picked up.
Well thank God we're grown ups and none of this will affect us. Lets drink to the return of teenage innocence. Although... just a moment. No more '5 for 1 Vodka Red Bulls' down the Wetherspoons? Hmm....